Mom versus Woman?

My counselor told me that I'm too much of a "mom" and not enough of a woman. That my fiance' thinks I'm the responsible one that is taking care of everything to leave him to "go out and play" and basically be the kid, while I'm the parent. She said I should be more womanly, and less motherly. I'm confused as I do things like dress sexy, do my hair, nails, make-up, am very sexy with things and take good care of myself like a woman should. I don't do ALL the housework, I do a lot though. What ideas can you offer me to become less motherly, less like the "responsible" one and more like a woman that he would want to be a man for and not act like a child?

Mom versus Woman?

Why are you allowing another person to blame-shift your fiance's neediness to U? If he's watching U allow someone else do this to U his behavior could possibly get worse towards U. If you R truly the only one being responsible and he's not on the same page the best thing to do is deal with that issue B4 marriage without third-party assumption (dogma/secularism) making a funzone out of your marital goals.

"I'm confused as I do things like dress sexy, do my hair, nails, make-up, am very sexy with things and take good care of myself like a woman should." --- good for U there is nothing confusing about dolling up often and pampering unless others want to confuse U and U it : )

Yes, we tend to chill out on fads and place our priority's elsewhere as we age but we should all take care of ourselves- some just think about it and others do it.

Realize that dogma/secularism are by nature the same. There is too much blame-shifting a man's behavior automatically to women which conveniently pushes a man to destroy his life starting with his marriage. By taking the blame for his behavior you R giving him an out. How can this person presume you are an enabler while instructing you to behave like that at the same time? Taking the blame for another shirking their role would be enabling behavior on your part. Watch out those counselors will grasp at straws if you make yourself available.

" I don't do ALL the housework"

"That my fiance' thinks I'm the responsible one that is taking care of everything to leave him to "go out and play" and basically be the kid, while I'm the parent."

Which is it? I'm confused by what you have written. Do U have the need to replace a man's mother or is he trying to force U to be his mother. Was his relationship with his mother intruded on in any way or did his mother work to support or escape. This remedy doesn't cost anything - connect with family on both sides and keep or start a new with those relationships as well.

Mom versus Woman?

Don't command him like a kid....go do this go do that....make sure you have brushed your teeth etc.....i.e. less commanding....

Mom versus Woman?

Your counsellor is an asshole and should have his/her license revoked and stuck up his ***. Jesus Christ why is not possible for you to do both and do them well. According to what you are saying you seem to be doing exactly that. You are not mothering your fiancee, he is just immature and prefers playing to taking responsibility so watch out for that. If I were with you and your counsellor told me that I might be tempted to punch his lights out of tell him to go **** himself

Mom versus Woman?

well, you should first start out with, having your fiance' have a man's night out, where he can invite his friends over or he can go out with his friends. Then you can have a day with your friends.

when your fiance comes home from work, you can dress up with a really cute, romantic dress (victoria secrets), ross pedels leading to the bedroom, candles, and just being sexy. men really like that.

have your fiance' do like the trash, sweap the kitchen or just assign choirs for your fiance' to do and you to do. it helps

go out for dinner or make a candle light dinner with wine. very romantic.

good luck